Yes, it's a little early, but when Mike, one of my readers, sent me this story I knew that there was no topping this contraption as a candidate for the crackpot Christmas gift of the year. Last year it was the Clef du Vin, and this year?:
"The machine works by pumping wine and tap water through a specially designed electrolysis chamber equipped with wafer-thin platinum electrodes. The water and wine are separated by an ion exchange membrane -- the key component, for which Mr Tanaka holds the patent."Just think of it as electroshock therapy for your wines. Your wines do need therapy don't they?
But why would you want to electrolyze your wine? Well, so that you can buy crappy wine and turn it into good wine, of course:
"In 15 seconds it transforms the cheapest, youngest plonks into fine old draughts as fruit flavors are enhanced and rough edges are mellowed. Reds become more complex, and whites drier. A wine costing $10 a bottle could taste the same as one costing twice that, which will create huge changes to the global wine industry."Wow. I'm really, utterly speechless.
Each kit includes a Japanese boffin, a zany-looking contraption, a couple of meters of latex tubing and a few hundred volts of electricity, and of course, comes with the Brooklyn Bridge for an additional $9.99.
I don't know about you, but I'm headed out to buy 500 cases of plonk to turn into "fine old draughts" as we speak.
A wine book like no other. Photographs, essays, and wine recommendations. Learn more.
Vinography Unboxed: Week of May 4, 2015 Vinography Images: A Shaggy Guardian Vinography Unboxed: Week of April 26, 2015 Vinography Images: Above the Coast 2015 Seven Percent Solution Tasting: May 6, San Francisco Imagining a Better Future for the Soils of Champagne A Brief Video Lesson in Champagne Disgorgement Vinography Images: The World of the Leaf Book Signing on May 9th, at Raymond Vineyards in Napa Doorman: Changing My Wine Delivery Life
Wine Will Never Smell the Same Again: Luca Turin and the Science of Scent Forlorn Hope: The Remarkable Wines of Matthew Rorick Debating Robert Parker At His Invitation Passopisciaro Winery, Etna, Sicily: Current Releases Should We Care What Winemakers Say? The Sweet Taste of Freedom: Austria's Ruster Ausbruch Wines 2009 Burgundy Vintage According to Domaine de la Romanée-Conti Charles Banks: The New Man Behind Mayacamas Wine from the Caldera: The Incredible Viticulture of Santorini Why Community Tasting Notes Sites Will Fail Chateau Rayas and the 2012 Vintage of Chateauneuf-du-Pape A Life Indomitable: The Wines of Casal Santa Maria, Portugal Bay Area Bordeaux: Tasting Santa Cruz Mountain Cabernets Forgotten Jewels: Reviving Chile's Old Vine Carignane The First-Timer's Guide to Les Trois Glorieuses of Hospices de Beaune