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10.06.2010

Canada: Declare War or Emigrate. It's a Tough Choice

Thanks to humorist Dave Barry's exposé of the looming threat to our national security, I've long been a proponent of preemptively invading Canada. And then came Michael Moore's film SiCKO, which convinced me that after we invade, we might want to dissect the Canadian health care system and find out what makes it tick.

And now? Well, I think plans for the invasion should be called off, and all of us wine lovers should just consider picking up and walking across the border. Why?

Because when the Canadian Government decides to spend money in a stimulus package they don't give it to their failing, inept, and grossly mismanaged auto industry. They don't give it to the super-rich wealth management firms. They don't even give it to Corporate Canada, or whatever they call the massive block of corporate lobbyists leaching away Canadian tax dollars.

Instead they invest in wine therapy.

Now if that isn't the sign of a higher state of consciousness, I don't know what is.

I just spent about 5 days in Vancouver, and thought it was fantastic. I'd move there if we could destabilize the economy and get the IMF to enact reforms designed to devalue the Canadian dollar enough to make the exchange rate favorable again.

Then all we'd have to do is change the arcane, state-run liquor laws so that when we got our wine therapy, we could at least get it with some good wine.

Hmm. I guess it looks like we're going to have to invade after all.

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Comments (2)

Loweeel wrote:
10.07.10 at 6:10 AM

For a counterpoint to Moore's fictionalized propaganda tale of a healthcare potemkin country to the north, look up a documentary (available for free online) called Dead Meat.

Deb Lapmardo wrote:
10.09.10 at 6:02 AM

You gotta love the Canadians: I mean, really, because I am one. But I've lived in the U.S. long enough to see both countries' triumphs (and tragedies) objectively. One thing Canada (or specifically, the Ontario government) did brilliantly was fund the creation of a wine industry in the Niagara Peninsula. They gave a ton of grant money directly to wineries, who built beautiful facilities that included restaurants and accommodation. The government money jump-started an industry that's become a huge destination for visitors from all over the world. You could ask if the wine is also world-class, and depending on who answers you might learn that they do make world-class ice wines (the Japanese buy all they can get), and do well with other cool-climate varietals. But the upshot is that the people have jobs, visitors spend money, wineries (and the government) make money on local sales and exports, and everyone's happy. Sounds like a good plan to me...

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