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01.22.2007

Hot Damn! Wine Makes You Sexier

It's both awfully strange and predictably true that we all find out some truths about life too late to put them to use ourselves. I suppose that's where the saying "youth is wasted on the young" comes from. Many of my own discoveries would really have served me much better as a teenager and young single twenty-something. For instance: I can't tell you how many of my thirty-something friends have been trying for months to get pregnant. Months!? Who knew it was so difficult? How many nerve-wracking hours did I spend as a young man worried about accidentally getting a girlfriend pregnant, even with proper birth control methods? I certainly might have had a few more nights of restful sleep to my credit.

My latest discovery is even more of a forehead-slapper. But even though it's too late for me, it might not be for you. So I want to make sure that everyone knows.

Wine knowledge makes you sexier.

It's true. Statistically correlated and everything, by really smart people who know their deviations from their derivatives. A study conducted among more than 2300 single men and women in the United States demonstrated that sixty-four percent believe that a member of the opposite sex's choice in beverage says a lot about their personality, and (here I'll quote) "More than seven in 10 survey respondents (72 percent) agree that knowledge about wine makes a member of the opposite sex more attractive."

And if you don't believe me, just ask Dr. Ruth.

If only I knew this when I was twenty-five. I would have been spending a lot more time hanging out in my local wine store. OK, maybe not. But I certainly might have had a bit more self-confidence when it came to dating.

My wife won't come clean about just how much my wine knowledge played into her decision to say yes when I popped the question, and I'll get in a lot of trouble for musing wistfully about how much more successful my dating career might have been if I threw around a bit more of my wine knowledge.

But I can certainly do my best to help you single wine lovers out there get some action. All joking aside, here are my recommendations for using wine to improve your dating life.

1. Learn about wine and drink lots of it. That's the easy part. And remember that it's wine knowledge that makes you sexier, not just wine (though after they throw a few glasses down the hatch, most people will think you're sexier).

2. Go to wine tasting events and pay attention to more than just the wine. There are scores if not hundreds of single men and women roving around at these large public tasting events. When you find yourself (or maneuver yourself) at the same table as someone cute, strike up some conversation. Ask what they think of the wines, whether they've had any that they like yet. Offer your recommendations. Don't tell spit or swallow jokes.

3. If you know enough to appropriately match the wine to the food, bring a nice bottle on a second date. If you get the chance, ask beforehand whether your date prefers red or white.

4. On first dates don't make assumptions about your date's wine knowledge if you don't know (and don't waste a nice bottle on an evening that might end up being a downer).

5. Convince one of your friends to hold a singles wine tasting party. Go.

6. Take a wine class and be nice to the cute people in it. Don't be a know-it-all.

7. Never, ever get sloppy drunk on wine with someone you haven't had sex with yet, unless that is the goal.

And finally, if you get really desperate, there's always online dating for wine lovers. Unfortunately the site's profiles don't force you to list the top bottles in your wine cellar.

Now go out there and be sexy!

Posted by: Alder on January 22, 2007 10:34 PM: Filed under: Ramblings and Rants; Like this post? Share it! Digg it! - Add to del.icio.us - Add to Stumbleupon - Add to Reddit

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Comments (14)

Eymar PlÃ©del JÃ³nsson wrote:

01.23.07 at 4:46 AM

It is good to know that this works in both ways. As many should know consumption of alchohol can make most people sexy (for some) but it's good to see the opposite point of view works - without consumption

Cru Master wrote:

01.23.07 at 6:24 AM

I think it has a lot to do with the 'mysterious' quality of wine - that this quality is emanated in the person talking about the wine.

very much like a surfers endless search of that elusive perfect wave!

i think the spirit of your topic is captured perfectly by 'that' scene in the movie Sideways - where the characters describe exactly what they love about wine and how it so perfectly captures their personalities!!

or it could just be the alcohol!! haha

el jefe wrote:

01.23.07 at 9:29 AM

We have a saying here at Twisted Oak: "Our wives are WAY too hot for us!"

This might explain a few things...

Alder wrote:

01.23.07 at 9:34 AM

Heh heh. I can relate.

Farley wrote:

01.23.07 at 10:02 AM

Alder,
That's great. I expect to get wine advice from you but never imagined it would include dating advice. Unfortunately for me, it hasn't worked, or not on the right people, anyway. It needs to happen soon, though, so I won't have to pour so much wine down the drain!

Alas that I work on weekends and can't follow tip #2.

Arthur wrote:

01.23.07 at 12:03 PM

Now I don't have to save up for that Corvette anymore!

Alex wrote:

01.23.07 at 11:47 PM

I don't know....red wines makes me aphrodisiac. I'm not sure if others too.

Jason Coleman wrote:

01.24.07 at 8:42 AM

Great post. It's good to know that if things fall through with WineLog, I might just be able to turn it into a dating site.

Lisa Pavageau wrote:

01.24.07 at 9:37 PM

Alder,

Brilliant!!! Now if I can just go out and make the dating happen. Tip #4 is a rule I live by. Thanks...great post.

Jared S. wrote:

01.25.07 at 5:29 AM

See? This is what the blogosphere is all about. Not only has the blogger found useful bits of information on a topic and strung them into a post that the audience would enjoy, but he has added depth and insight of his own. Never mind the fact that this is interesting stuff and Alder can be both serious and funny as hell at the same time.

Now I know why Alder is representing the wine blogging world at the wine writer's symposium.

Thanks, Alder - for showing us all how to do it right.

Ruth Lieu wrote:

01.25.07 at 11:39 AM

Alright, I'll come clean on this one. Your wine knowledge did put another smile on my face amongst the many other traits I was observing at the time. Although I have to say that as a single woman at the time, I found wine knowledge sexier mostly because it indicated an interest in experiences and things beyond Budweizer and sportsbars. And, from the POV of a married woman, your sexiness is directly correlate to the number of rich, structured, long finish cabs you pour me :-)

Tim S wrote:

01.25.07 at 2:04 PM

Ruth, you better be his wife or I see trouble coming down the Cab pike!

Barrld

frank Haddad wrote:

01.25.07 at 4:27 PM

This puts a new slant on my WSET classes.

Hillary Sjolund wrote:

02.02.07 at 4:08 PM

Alder,

Loved your post!!

As a professional winemaker, I can tell you from personal experience that stomping grapes is as sexy as it gets. Drinking wine is good, but making it is so much better!

So spice it up with a little ameture winemaking in the garage - if you dare!