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10.06.2007

WWJD: What Would Jesus Drink?

As wine has been around since, well, forever, I sometimes find myself wondering what the really old stuff used to taste like. You know, the stuff that the Visgoths were sipping out of their deer bladders, the stuff that the Egyptians were drinking out of their clay jugs, or the stuff that the Romans were drinking out of their Amphorae.

And then there was Jesus. They guy did more than just a little drinking of wine, a miracle or two notwithstanding. And don't tell me you haven't wondered just exactly what that wine tasted like, especially the stuff that used to be what passed for drinking water in Aramea. When you're turning water into wine, just what kind of wine do you get in the end?

So I can't say I was too surprised when Jesus popped up on a wine label eventually. Even with all that huff about graven images. Honestly? When Arthur sent me a link to the new label from Grapes of Galilee, an Israeli wine producer, my first thought was, "someone must have done this before now, right?"

But perhaps with the exception of the infamous Blue Nun, and probably a few of the "custom" bottles that the Vatican has in it's private collection, Christianity may never have figured quite so prominently in a wine brand as on this one. Of course, now that wine labels have sported kangaroos, penguins, owls, moose, bears, lizards, and Hitler, the Son of God is a pretty logical next step.

Anyone care for a blind, grudge-match tasteoff between the Der Fuehrer and Christ? Sounds like a South Park episode that needs to be made, and a tasting party not to be missed.

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Posted by: Alder on October 6, 2007 11:36 PM: Filed under: Ramblings and Rants; Like this post? Share it! Digg it! - Add to del.icio.us - Add to Stumbleupon - Add to Reddit

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Comments (9)

Richard Shaffer wrote:

10.07.07 at 8:26 AM

The brands are owned by a Jewish Israeli based in Georgia.

The wines are old wines produced by an Israeli winery with his walk-on-water labels slapped on.

I think his hope is that American Christians will purchase simply because of the the "Made In the Holy Land" labels. I'll bet he's right.

Richard

Marco wrote:

10.07.07 at 10:40 AM

It is pretty amazing what marketing does in order to promote a product. I believe that simple classic labels are still the best. Wine should be about tradition and simplicity. I would personally be ashamed to walk to a table and offer as a glass-pour a weird-looking bottle of wine. But that's just me.

Jill wrote:

10.07.07 at 2:28 PM

I think you need to add a third wine to the blind tasting: Martha Stewart's Cabernet.

Jesus vs. Hitler vs. Martha Stewart. Now there's a match I would throw some bucks down to see pay-per-view (or, on second thought, maybe I could watch it for free on WLTV...).

Gretchen wrote:

10.07.07 at 2:32 PM

Christ drinking chardonnay? Obviously that is completely ridiculous but I guess if it makes you feel closer to your Allmighty, go for it.

It was always my understanding that the amphorae that you described were lined with pitch to help make the vessels more waterproof and as a result the wines tended to taste like the Greek Retsina. Additionally the wines were heavier and needed to be mixed with water.

Amy wrote:

10.07.07 at 11:32 PM

Is it kosher?

Arthur wrote:

10.08.07 at 9:16 AM

Alder,

South Park or Celebrity Death Match? I would love to see JC trounce Martha Stewat (even if she is a fellow Pole) like he did ole Saint Nick in the original South Park episode.

Now, instead of WJD bracelets, one would see WWJD wine accesories: decanters, pourers, corkscrews and such...

As Mel Brooks said in "Space Balls": "Merchandising, merchandising!"

Randy Sloan wrote:

10.08.07 at 10:51 AM

I hear the disciples really complained that they couldn't get a decent glass of wine outside of Galilee... something about the water being the secret.

Woody wrote:

10.08.07 at 12:32 PM

Good questions, Alder. This winery could have a difficult marketing problem: after so much plonk at Communion, most Christians would probably stay clear of this. Maybe "Reserve" on the label would help.

John Bubala wrote:

10.13.07 at 4:13 PM

Alder,

http://www.bulfon.it/

Jesus might have had these wines.
Emilio Bulfon saves these ancient, local and wonderful varieties of grapes.

I enjoy reading your blog.