I once had a heck of a time getting some wine back from Australia. Without getting into the long drawn-out saga of it, suffice it to say that because of some mis-information from a winery down under, I ended up having to hire a customs broker to help me get my wine into the country. Actually I just needed the customs broker to get it out of a container at one end of San Francisco International Airport and into my car. The irony is that the same wine, in the same quantity, carried on a plane by me, or even put into my luggage would have breezed through customs without even a sideways glance. I’ve since learned my lesson and I never ship wine back to myself.

Now my habit of packing a case or two into my checked or carry-on luggage may be in jeopardy. In fact, all wine lovers are now likely to be scrutinized a bit harder after a couple of bozos tried to sneak a bunch of cocaine into Australia in wine bottles. Apparently half an inch of glass is no match for the nose of a drug sniffing dog, however, and they were nabbed on the spot. Luckily, Australia is not at war. Last time I checked (OK not really, but I’ve seen enough movies) cocaine (a fine white powder) looks a lot like Anthrax (a fine white powder). Had these two been trying to get this stuff into JFK, they’d likely have been shot on the spot.

In any case, wine lovers, make sure to fill out those customs forms accurately, and remember: no wine is so bad that you have to add cocaine to it.