Travesty, Disaster, and Moral Apocalypse in Tennessee

If you’re not outraged and sickened, then you’re not paying attention. The very fabric of our moral society is breaking down in front of us. Our children are in danger, our community businesses are being destroyed, and our minds are being warped and perverted into wells of addiction and turpitude.

Yes, that’s right. As of this morning wine is now for sale in grocery stores in Tennessee.

And just as predicted by so many smart and powerful business people who we all know had the best interest of consumers at heart, society just about collapsed.

But don’t take my word for it. Listen to the horror unfold in the words of people who are experiencing it for themselves.

“I’ve waited 30 years for this,” Evelyn Helmhort told The Memphis Commercial Appeal.

“I was waiting for it. I didn’t know they would have so many flavors. It’s a big selection,” Todd Franks told the Leaf-Chronicle.

“It’s convenient at the grocery store” said Angela Cook to a USA Today reporter.

“I will still shop at my favorite wine shop down the street, but I think it’s awesome,” said Shawna Lee to the Tennessean. “It’s a great thing. It’s about time,” chimed in Monica Mays.

These poor people. Your heart goes out to them, right?

If you can’t hear the sarcasm dripping off this post, then you are REALLY not paying attention.

You couldn’t be blamed. however, for failing to pay attention to the millions that the entrenched special interest groups of wine and spirits wholesalers and liquor stores have spent trying to convince legislators that everything I said at the beginning of this post was actually true.

According to these folks, selling wine in grocery stores will result in an epidemic of teenage binge drinking and force thousands of small businesses (mom and pop liquor stores) to close.

But props to the Tennessean legislature for finally doing right by consumers and offering them the basic right to shop for a bottle of wine at the same time as they shop for their groceries.

I just hope that the rest of you legislators (you know who you are: Alaska, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Kansas, Kentucky, Minnesota, Mississippi, New York, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and West Virginia) pay attention to what happens in Tennessee.

When nothing happens other than consumer satisfaction with the shopping experience increasing, can we all just be adults and admit once and for all that the lobbyists are just shoveling bullshit?

I suppose that really is too much to ask. This is America after all.

But hey, all you people in Tennessee? Congratulations. Welcome to the club of sanity.