The American Thanksgiving holiday always brings with it a predictable set of responses. Americans fret over what wine to serve with this impossibly complex feast, and American wine writers write columns and articles in one of two varieties: which specific wines they think are good pairings, or what you should do instead of trying to pair wines with your dinner.

I’m here to tell you that this year, it doesn’t matter at all. That’s because according to the biodynamic calendar, the entire day of Thanksgiving is a “Leaf Day.” What is a leaf day? Don’t ask me. But the one thing I know about Leaf Days is that they are not good for wine. Wine doesn’t taste good on Leaf Days:

As I quipped to someone online, do you know what this means? It means that if someone thinks their wine tastes good today, one of two things is true: either that person’s palate isn’t worth a damn, or the biodynamic calendar is bunk.

You decide.

All joking aside, the best approach to Thanksgiving wine is to open a whole bunch of bottles that you want to drink and that you think your guests might want to drink, put them out on the table, and forget about it.

You’re welcome.