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What's Next? Wine Labels in Jive?

I haven't stopped chuckling this evening since I read a post on Spittoon.Biz, a long running wine blog run by Andrew Barrow over in the UK. About a week ago he reported on the latest marketing efforts by a national supermarket chain to make sure the wine labels on their wines were readable by all their clientele (UK supermarkets often bottle and label their own wines from around Europe). These efforts involved something quite straightforward: translating the back labels of the wines into different languages.

Except the languages they translated them into are some of the local dialects of the United Kingdom. This yielded labels like:

"A canny Merlot ableeze wi succulent blackcurrants an blueberries. This Merlot has legs leik a thoroughbred, strong an forward, tha sucks the leif oot of yer palate. Its stowed bouquet is a delight fer yer nose an will leave yee clamming fer moor. This ain ne blash." in Geordie.


"A totally stoatin bevvy. It's bricht an' foo o' flavur, wi plum, curranty fruit, mackin it taste awffy braw. A youngane's colour wi cherries an black fruit on the nose, it has a laldy kick tae it, tha runs fae the front tae the back ae' yer mooth" in Scottish.

That just makes me giggle. What if Trainspotting was filled with wine instead of heroin?

Or better yet, maybe we can get some labels written in Jive:

Read the full post on Spittoon.Biz.

Comments (8)

Arthur wrote:
11.15.09 at 11:07 PM


Rick wrote:
11.16.09 at 10:40 AM

"Hey dog! You sittin' evil? Sheeee, this Syrah got chu covered like a jimmy hat! Even if you think you ain't comin' on that tab this jungle juice have you flossin' in no time and have your chirp squealin' "That straight murder, lay it on me! Ain't no need to be sadder than a map! Get you some!"

Dean Tudor wrote:
11.16.09 at 3:37 PM

The Dialectizer has been around forever, try it at

for Elmer Fudd, Jive, Cockney, Swedish Chef, White Trash versions of standard wine text.

Mark wrote:
11.17.09 at 10:36 AM

Now that's what I'm talkin' bout...
Me thinks that Spar may have utilized the Urban Dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com/ to come up with these translations. I'm still giggling...thanks for the laugh!

11.17.09 at 2:21 PM

Hahaha. Even wacky publicity is publicity, I guess.

Mark wrote:
11.18.09 at 3:55 PM

It is pretty funny and probably a sign of the times. With the economy eroding for bottles priced $20 here domestically(I'm sure the situation is the same in the UK) more competition in the lower priced spaces is going to lead to some interesting marketing moves!

Tim McDonald wrote:
11.19.09 at 1:25 PM

that is too funny. isn't nice to know that sometimes you make others day by creating a smile....thanks!

Anthony wrote:
12.10.09 at 12:09 PM

That would be too funny if they labeled in jive. This wine contains booze it'll get you crunk. Lol. I'm curious if they would change the names too. I wonder what this wine would become?

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