I haven’t stopped chuckling this evening since I read a post on Spittoon.Biz, a long running wine blog run by Andrew Barrow over in the UK. About a week ago he reported on the latest marketing efforts by a national supermarket chain to make sure the wine labels on their wines were readable by all their clientele (UK supermarkets often bottle and label their own wines from around Europe). These efforts involved something quite straightforward: translating the back labels of the wines into different languages.
Except the languages they translated them into are some of the local dialects of the United Kingdom. This yielded labels like:
“A canny Merlot ableeze wi succulent blackcurrants an blueberries. This Merlot has legs leik a thoroughbred, strong an forward, tha sucks the leif oot of yer palate. Its stowed bouquet is a delight fer yer nose an will leave yee clamming fer moor. This ain ne blash.” in Geordie.
“A totally stoatin bevvy. It’s bricht an’ foo o’ flavur, wi plum, curranty fruit, mackin it taste awffy braw. A youngane’s colour wi cherries an black fruit on the nose, it has a laldy kick tae it, tha runs fae the front tae the back ae’ yer mooth” in Scottish.
That just makes me giggle. What if Trainspotting was filled with wine instead of heroin?
Or better yet, maybe we can get some labels written in Jive: