Like most of you, I’d expect, I get a lot of wine ads in my social media feeds. Most of them I ignore because I need to buy more wine like I need a hole in the head. But some of them I consistently report as fraud.

Why? Because Dry Farm Wines and their CEO Todd White are lying.

If your glass of wine has 10 grams of sugar in it, that means your bottle of wine (depending on how big a pour you make) has between 60 and 80 grams of residual sugar per liter. That’s not your average bottle of Barefoot Merlot, which probably clocks in at a mere 8 g/l. That’s Auslese Riesling. Or as Mark Fusco, who created the post that a friend shared on FB put it: “that’s not commercial wine, it’s dessert wine.”

Fusco also pointed out the obvious, that this idea of “commercial wine” is utter and complete bullshit. Every wine that is made to be sold is commercial wine, he said. And he’s 100% right.

Dry Farm Wines is full of shit in just about every way. As another social media friend pointed out, their (completely bonkers) claim that organic and biodynamic grapes have more nutrients in them is dangerously close to making a health claim about an alcoholic product, which happens to be strictly illegal.

I’m 110% in support of organic and biodynamic wines in every way, but not because they’re more f*cking nutritious. Biodynamic grapes and the wines that are made from them are likely marginally better for you thanks to zero traces of pesticides and herbicides, and they likely have a slightly different overall chemical composition than a conventionally farmed grape, but “Paleo wines?” Just kill me now.

BTW, I’m not the first to point out how ridiculous their claims are.

Please join me in marking Dry Farm Wines social media advertisements as the fraudulent claims that they are. If you’re feeling particularly inspired, you can e-mail Market.Compliance@ttb.gov and let them know how you feel about this.

And while you’re at it, you can do the same for all those wine investment funds, too.